For the Love of Saki
by LovelyWrath
Summary: Madarame is a hopeless romantic, still in love with Saki after all this time. After college, when the real world kicks in, how will Madarame and Saki interact? Everyone else can see the truth, so why is it so complicated? R&R! Updated August 2012! Nearing completion! MadaSaki Genshiken! MadaxSaki, SakiMadarame, SakiMada
1. Chapter 1: Not Ready to Fly Away

Thanks for viewing what is my first and perhaps only ever serious Genshiken Fan Fiction. The pairing is, of course, Saki and Madarame. Rating on this will go up in the future, with as many as 10 chapters ahead. Please enjoy, comment, praise, rate. Please don't flame or I won't share anymore. Haha! On with the story….

**Chapter 1**  
_Not Ready to Fly Away_

Graduation. When he'd first arrived in college, and even after finding a safe haven within the Genshiken, Harunobu Madarame never thought he'd be sad to graduate.

He'd found wonderful friends who accepted him for who he was, enjoyed the same hobbies as him... people who actually "got" him. No longer feeling like a complete outcast, settled into his sphere of comfy routine between classes and Genshiken.

All of these wonderful perks aside, Madarame had abandoned any disillusionment about what really held his loyalty. It wasn't the college, the "otaku" subculture or the Genshiken as a whole.

Saki Kasukabe.

These feelings weren't a very recent development, either. Luckily for Madarame, Saki stuck close to Genshiken up until their graduation.

Unluckily for Madarame, she was still completely infatuated with her boyfriend, Kousaka, and showed no signs of losing interest in him anytime soon.

Kousaka had none of the same interests as Saki. He provided minimal support, and Saki enjoyed clinging to the arm of a "pretty boy". And certainly, they found eachother acceptable in bed...

These thoughts always flowed the same way...

Saki was beautiful. Kousaka was much better looking than Madarame, and even if Madarame changed his outfit, his glasses, even his hair, he still wouldn't be able to defeat Kousaka's good looks.

All of these thoughts were distracting. Madarame found it difficult to read manga, watch anime, and play video games... even hentai games. Nothing was satisfying him. Contentment seemed beyond his reach as Saki Kasukabe invaded his thoughts more and more frequently.

So he chose a job close to the college... and as a result he was pegged for a bird not ready to fledge by all of Genshiken. One of "those guys that stay near the college long past their college years".

He didn't care. He had to prolong his stay... he had to see her frequently, speak to her, breathe the same air as Saki Kasukabe.

Because he'd fallen desperately in love with her.


	2. Chapter 2: Escape

_Sorry for the last chapter being so short. It was more of an introduction than anything. This one's a bit longer, more interaction between Saki and Madarame. Expect some plotting and embarrassing situations in the next few chapters. :) Please R&R._

**Chapter 2**  
_Running Away _

Saki Kasukabe sighed in defeat as she settled into her usual seat at the Genshiken table, and tried not to glance over at Madarame, who seemed to be mumbling something almost inaudibly while clenching some random Anime magazine a bit too tightly.

Why was she here? Kousaka was always bright and early to stand in line for some great new game release, and to do his regular shopping, so there was no chance of him being around for hours yet...

Saki's regular friends were busy, either with classes or other engagements, and Saki had lost interest in shopping alone; she'd been doing far too much of that lately to pass the time. There was absolutely nothing to do at home.

With all of her ideas failed and nowhere else to go, Saki arrived at the Genshiken clubroom without even realizing it.

So here she sat, once again. Alone with possibly the most extreme Otaku the world could possibly throw at her.

She yanked a fashion magazine from her shoulder bag, frustrated, and began flipping through to find something to distract her from what she considered to be the sad reality that had become her social life.

Madarame, already nervous, tensed at her swift movements and angst-ridden expression. He recalled treating this very same situation like a video game, and failing miserably at being a human being. He felt his self esteem level dig itself a deeper hole just thinking about it again.

Still, he couldn't stop himself, "Is everything alright...?" He said finally, peering over the top edge of his own magazine. He bit his lip, out of view, almost enough to draw blood.

"Fine." Saki stated firmly, in a most unfriendly tone.

Madarame flinched, lowering the magazine to the table and frowning deeply.

_**Am I really so terrible? She must despise me for being hideous and being such a hardcore Otaku. And there's nothing I can change about that...**_

He stared at Saki for a long moment before closing his magazine. There she was, beautiful, curvaceous, and within arm's reach. On occasion, whenever she was just close enough, he would catch the scent of her soft perfume – it was some kind of shea and floral scent today. She was wearing lipgloss, a fact given away by her perpetually dampened lips, and he found himself wondering if there was a flavor waiting to be tasted..

He sighed tiredly, defeated, and leaned over to tuck the magazine into his backpack, zipping the bag up quickly. And he stood, tossing the bag over his back, not noticing that Saki had turned to watch him curiously.

This had become the normal routine. Despite their lovely "dinner date" (at least that's what Madarame liked to think of it as), despite their occasional friendly conversations and encounters no long since past-tense, they weren't _friends_. If he asked her out to a drink, she'd just shoot him down as always. If he began talking about Anime (or just about anything else), she'd let him know that she really didn't care at all. Anything he did involving Saki made him feel uncomfortable, alien, and unwanted.

His only option was to retreat on every occasion.

Three members of Genshiken had graduated, two of which only made the very rare appearance at the clubroom anymore. Madarame slouched as he began to think he'd probably be better off disappearing as well. Why couldn't real life be more like Anime? He didn't need to be the hero with a gaggle of women chasing after him; he just wanted to be close to Saki.

He reached for the doorknob, glancing over his shoulder as he fished for some random excuse for his sudden departure.

"Oh! Are you going out to the office again?" Saki seemed to perk up, seeming suddenly very cheerful.

"Yeah..." He needed to get some air.

Saki pursed her lips, "You're always telling me how you've got to go submit some paperwork to the office at work, or that you're going to go pick up some new manga that just released today, or that you've ordered some lunch at the deli and should go pick it up, or some other ridiculous excuse to leave me in the clubroom alone." Her eyes saddened, though her tone remained accusing. Chills traveled up his spine as he realized he'd been figured out. She knew he was lying all those times. How much did she know? That would be a frightening thought.

"Well, Madarame, your office is closed today. There are no new manga, magazine, or anime releases. Kami knows, Kousaka would have let me know all about them. You haven't ordered any lunch from the deli or the cafeteria, as neither one is open nor to they take orders until 10:30. You're obviously not going to that idiotic gaming convention, or you would have been there at an ungodly hour before dawn." Saki nearly slammed her stylish purse on the clubroom table. "I really don't get you, or why you feel the need to lie to get away from me. Just tell me the truth."

Madarame tried very hard to swallow the growing lump in his throat. _**Perhaps I'll suffocate and die now. That'd be pleasant...**_

"I must make you really uncomfortable. I must repulse you. I guess I'm not Otaku enough to be here, and I ruin the vibe of the clubroom for you. I understand, and it's probably more appropriate for me to leave now.."

"No.. you're wrong." Madarame cut Saki off, then drew a ragged breath, "Listen… I'll go. It's not you, I have nothing against you at all."

"Then what's the deal?" Saki stared Madarame down intently.

Madarame sighed, while trying to keep a cool exterior, "There's nothing." He fumbled with the doorknob, quickly opening it and slipping out, closing it quickly behind him to escape the situation… only to bump into Ohno, who stood directly outside the door.

Both Ohno and Madarame blushed furiously as Madarame offered his greeting and apology, "Sorry about that… excuse me and Good Morning.."

"Hey." She said as he brushed past her and continued down the hall. She turned to watch him, taking a few steps in the direction of his retreating back, "You'll never get anywhere like this!"

Madarame hesitated, glancing back at Ohno. Of course, he knew upon seeing here there that she'd likely been there awhile. He could be certain that she had heard at least most of the exchange between Saki and himself, something any Genshiken member would always need to be wary of; spying.

"It's never going to get anywhere, anyhow."

With that, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3: Getting a Clue

_Sorry for the shortness of some of these chapters! Keep in mind that this is my first fic, and I haven't really gotten any reviews, but I expect that eventually I will. I plan to continue this fanfic anyhow. So don't worry about me abandoning it. Look for the arrival of other Genshiken members in near future chapters as we fully explore the situation and how it affects the rest of the Genshiken members. How do they feel? What do they think? What will they do? Oh, the suspense!_

_Please enjoy! Review please!_

**Chapter 3**  
_Get a Clue_

_ Madarame. Location: Conference Room 24._

The conference room that everyone always chose to spy on members of Genshiken was a quick stroll downstairs, across the courtyard, and back up the stairs in the neighboring building. It had almost become _part_ of the Genshiken clubroom, in some weird way. Why had he chosen to flee to this location? It was a natural choice. Ohno was trouble. She knew too much, partially because she was too observant, and partially because Madarame had been careless on a number of occasions.

What was he thinking? Staring and blushing around Kasukabe, like some prepubescent teenager. On more than one occasion, he had been broken from his awe-stricken state by the rampant giggling of Ohno, who had no doubt told Tanaka all about his tremendous one-sided crush on multiple occasions.

Ohno; the big-breasted, busybody and faux-shy cosplay goddess of Geshiken was trouble for Madarame, who could only stare out the window and across the courtyard, watching helplessly from this foreign location as Ohno confronted Saki in the Genshiken clubroom.

Madarame figured he might as well get a better view, and fished the binoculars that always remained stashed away in the conference room. A tool used for the sole purpose of spying on other members... there were so many such tools, some purchased by Ohno and the others, many from who they assumed was the original President. There were likely things they had yet to discover about the Genshiken clubroom and the conference rooms with the ideal views.

_Meanwhile, in the Genshiken Clubroom..._

Ohno slipped into the Genshiken room, moving to examine the shelf behind Saki, who canted her head to glance at the cosplay fanatic warily.

"So.." Saki began, knowing by the expression on Ohno's face that she had heard most of, if not the entire exchange between Madarame and herself. "I guess you have some grand input now."

Ohno smirked, spinning around to lean down and wrap her arms around Saki's neck warmly. Saki tensed, but soon relaxed back into the embrace, reaching up to rest her hands on Ohno's soft arms.

Ohno sighed, "Well, Saki, there's not really much I can say that can help the situation. You do already know that Madarame cares about you, right? And he has for a long time. He tried to change his look for you, and he practically escorted you to the restroom and back when you drank too much that one night..."

"What does all of this mean? More importantly, what does it even matter?" Saki interrupted, slightly angry at Ohno for vocalizing what Saki didn't really want to admit to herself.

"You can't possibly think that he doesn't care about you very deeply. In fact, I'd wager all that you're the main reason he sticks around as often as he does. I mean, he has already graduated..." Ohno continued, unphased.

There was a long silence before Saki responded.

"Madarame is an Otaku. He's just like any other Otaku boy. There's no way I could ever return any feelings he has for me. He's not my type, I'm not attracted to him." Saki said with some finality. She couldn't believe she even had to vocalize justification for not being with Madarame. It should have been obvious, right? "He'll get over his little crush, you'll see."

Ohno released Saki, standing up strait and moving toward the door. "You're so full of it, Saki! Yes, Madarame is an Otaku. Quit putting Otaku down like we are the plague, and then sticking around and defending us when we need you. I _know_ you don't hate any of us for being what we are. As for Madarame's feelings... you could return them if you'd look a little deeper. He's not ugly, he's not stupid, and he doesn't just have a crush."

Ohno turned to face Saki one final time, lifting an arm and dramatically pointing to Saki accusingly, "Madarame is in love with you. It's real, passionate, and deep. He adores you for the strong and beautiful woman you are. And you're just a stupid little girl tangled up in some blonde hair and blue eyes. Need I remind you that your current boy toy is also an Otaku? I have nothing against Kousaka, but it's unfair of you to judge Madarame the way you have. You overlook Kousaka's Otaku ways, and forgive him, and love him? And you're hurting Madarame. If you're going to confront him, maybe you should_really_ confront him and turn him down so he can move on and give his heart to someone who actually wants it!" Ohno was practically fuming.

Saki's mouth gaped open as she clenched the table, disbelieving Ohno's powerful speech. "Ohno.." There were not words.

"It's painful to watch. I've been watching it from the beginning." Ohno lowered her voice as she opened the door, backing out of it, "It doesn't look like it's going to end happily, I mean, how can it? It's breaking my heart to watch it drag out the way it has. I care about you, Saki. I care about Madarame, Kousaka, Tanaka... all of Genshiken. And it hurts to watch this. I wish I didn't know anything."

Saki and Madarame both watched from separate locations as Ohno teared up and made a hasty retreat out of the clubroom. Saki sat there a moment thinking deeply. Her own eyes began to swell with tears, and as she wiped at the first tear that threatened to fall, she grabbed her purse. Saki rose to her feet, moved to the door, and turned to look the clubroom over for a long moment, giving Ohno adequate time to exit the building.

Saki had been denying everything from the start. She didn't want to think about it, but she had to. Kousaka was an Otaku. He was a damned cute Otaku, so she could pretend and ignore this flaw, ignore his ways, give him his space and enjoy the time to herself. But in the end, he was still Otaku. Saki desperately wanted things to work out, and Kousaka seemed love her. It could work, right? Madarame would never be as good as Kousaka. Madarame was borderline pathetic, wasn't he? Of course she knew he liked her... he wasn't sneaky at all. He watched her openly, naively. Why had she confronted him? Was she trying to scare him off? Trying to force him into a corner to confess? She felt so angry at him earlier, everything happened so fast! Madarame had graduated, for crying out loud! He should have moved on and left her behind! Then she would never have to deal with his silly crush to begin with. His graduation was supposed to be her escape, her easy way out. Now, the only way out ...

Tears began to roll down Saki's cheeks, and Madarame instantly felt the urge to fly to the Genshiken room and wipe them away. But he was helpless to do a thing. Always helpless.

"Goodbye, Genshiken." She said to herself as Madarame watched carefully through those binoculars. He missed most of the conversation between the two girls, but Saki's message came through loud and clear as he read those final words from lips he'd longed to kiss since he first laid eyes on them.

Madarame's heart nearly stopped as the lights of the Clubroom darkened and Saki left his sight.


	4. Chapter 4: Sleepy Wonderings

_[ Later that evening at the home of Madarame. ]_

Regularly, he thought, they would at the table in the Genshiken clubroom, just the two of them. She would often have her face buried in a fashion magazine, but once in awhile, she would be caught reading some of his favorite manga, mostly things he had pointed out. Madarame was no stranger to even Shojo, and he had carefully selected series to suggest to Saki when she seemed bored. Slowly but surely, she had become a fan of some of his favorite series, though she would never admit it herself. It delighted him to no end when she would request the next graphic novel in a series._ Small victories_, he always thought to himself, granting her wishes by ensuring the shelves stayed stocked and up to date on anything manga related that she showed interest in.

It seemed as though Madarame lived for days like this one, where he could sit and enjoy the sound of her breathing and the soft scent of her parfume. Occasionally she would have a question about what she was reading, and he would always have the answers for her. Sometimes, her leg would brush his beneath the corner of the table, and surely she also noticed as they both blushed and withdrew themselves from contact. This was as intimate as Madarame ever truly expected to be with Saki, and though it should have saddened him more, at the time he revelled in the little time he had alone with her.

All of this was at an end now, memories that would stick with him forever. Madarame's first love, unrequited and bittersweet. Before he met the girl with such beauty that he found himself speechless on numerous occasions, he never would have imagined his first time truly in love would cause him so much pain. He imagined himself falling for a delightfully cheerful cosplaying sort of girl, someone who would accept him for who he was, someone else who had their own vices similar to his own.

Saki was such a beautiful enigma to Madarame. He spent years carefully trying to connect with her, taking little steps, trying to earn her trust and learn more about her, but as far as he could see, even with her occasional violent outbursts, criticism, and smoking habit, Saki had no real flaws that would turn him off to her. He wasn't the biggest fan of cigarettes, but Saki cared for her hygiene in that the smell never seemed to linger upon her after her occasional smoke. Madarame had made it abundantly clear that there would be no more smoking in the clubroom, not even by the window, to prevent damage to the clubroom and contents. Lately, he hadn't caught Saki smoking, and the rumor was that she was trying to stop. He wondered what her lips would taste like now...

And these thoughts kept him tossing and turning in his bed, into the early hours of the morning, when exaustion prevailed and and sleep finally claimed him.

_[ Meanwhile, at the home of Saki...]_

Bedtime, though Saki doubted she would be getting any real sleep for all the worrying she had been doing.

Love wasn't a word Saki had ever thrown about easily. In fact, she and Kousaka had never uttered a word about love. Additionally, Saki had never heard Tanaka or Ohno ever speak those sacred words to one another. Was there any love between Kousaka and herself? She admired him deeply, craved his company, cared for his safety, and became jealous at the thought of him with another woman, but it seemed that the both of them had always spent their time together as lovers, both silently expecting that it wouldn't last forever. Saki knew that she couldn't make Kousaka give up his Otaku ways, and he had simply made time for her. It was enough to fill the void temporarily. It worked for a time, but eventually they had grown apart. The flames of lust, passion, all fizzled. Kousaka had gotten involved in serious career related business, and there had been no talk of moving in or away together. And everyone knew what was happening, all the members of Genshiken saw the distance growing between Saki and Kousaka, but none of them addressed it.

Madarame cared deeply for Saki, she had to admit this even to herself. It couldn't be denied, and she had always simply shrugged his admiration off, ignored it, but allowed him to occasionally get close to her. What harm could an occasional lunch together do? Reading in the clubroom in silence couldn't cause trouble, could it? Though she had to admit, whenever he knew she'd be around, he always seemed better groomed, wearing some sweet cologne, and bearing some sort of gift in the form of the latest fashion magazines or the next volume of a manga series that she was reading. She knew he would feed any interest she had in manga or anime, and she accepted every gift from him.

But Madarame would be the most hardcore otaku Saki had ever encountered. She had managed to overlook most of this with Kousaka, and wasn't sure she could do it all over again ever.

Madarame never asked for anything in return for all of his generosity and kindness. He never asked for more. There was always Kousaka in the picture, and Madarame would never cross the line. Madarame was a good friend, but even with Kousaka leaving the picture, Madarame made no real move.

_Why did I push him? I knew he had some feelings for me.. I never knew they could possibly run so deeply, but judging by his actions, they do._

Saki snuggled deeply into the plush down blankets, burying her face in her pillow. She intended to never return to Genshiken, but she really wanted to. She didn't want to lose the friends she made; she knew they were all so genuine and real. And she didn't want to lose Madarame, in any way. But for things to remain the way they were, his feelings for Saki would have to remain in tact, and an unrequited love like that would be torturous and unfair to go on for any longer than it already had.

How long had he loved her? When did this all begin? She thought deeply, and pieces of Genshiken meetings would come to her. Once, she caught him staring at her as she sat at the window sill of the clubroom, and he'd blushed deeply and immediately torn his gaze away from her as she turned to face him. She thought for a moment that he might have been lusting after her, but his expression had been one of admiration. Saki knew she wasn't ugly, but she'd never imagined herself beautiful.

Another memory of Madarame was not one of her most flattering moments. Saki, drunk, and unable to make it to the ladies' room across the street from the bar, had earned assistance from Madarame, who had arrived just in time to lend her support as she stumbled haphazardly toward her goal. He had even waited for her to assist her back to the bar, and shushed her when she tried to apologise, insisting that she had nothing to be sorry for. He was always so kind.

Saki had to admit to herself that Madarame was indeed the genuine article. He never intentionally tried to hurt her, and though the two of them often bumped heads, he would never raise a hand to her, and he simply accepted her sometimes violent reactions to what he had done or said.

Saki drifted off into sleep wondering how she could maintain her friendship with Madarame. He was of great value to her existance, and she too cared for him deeply. How deeply, she didn't even know herself.


	5. Chapter 5: Of Dreams and Reality

_[ The next morning, at the home of Madarame ... ]_

Madarame dreamt of her, holding his hand, clinging to his arm as they strolled through Akihabara. She didn't mind that he shopped for manga, and he didn't mind at all when she stopped to pick out something cute to try on. It was ideal, the feeling of her small hand gently tucked in his own, her soft hair brushing against his neck, making his skin tingle as she rested her head on his shoulder lovingly.

He knew it was a dream all along, and when the alarm clock finally cried out for his attention, he swore he could still feel her there as he slapped the clock from the stand with a frustrated sigh, hugging his pillow close to him, lingering in the remnants of that blissful fantasy.

"Mn...Saki." He whispered her name lovingly, though the pillow was a poor substitute for the real article.

Maybe with time, he would forget about her. But for now, all he had to keep him company were thoughts of her, and dreams he never wished to wake from.

He did have a job which would offer a good distraction. So unhappily he forced himself from the warm sanctuary of his bed, and stumbled into the shower. Today would be a long day, and tonight would be another lonely night, he knew, but somewhere in his sphere of comfortable routine, he would find someone or something to bring him real joy.

Someday.

_[ Meanwhle, at the home of Saki.. ]_

Saki dreamt of him, a dream of lunch, and a brushing of legs beneath the table, where they sat side by side. The cafe was chilly, and he had given her his jacket. She could smell his cologne, which mingled with his natural scent, and it intoxicated her thoroughly. His foot brushed against hers, he quickly withdrew it, embarassed. She removed her flat, stretching her leg over and brushing her foot up against his ankle lightly for a moment. She earned a small smile in response, but his gaze remained fixed upon the sushi tray in front of him.

She felt a tinge of jealousy, and tucked her toes beneath the hem of his pants. She began lightly stroking the skin there with her toes, up and down. Madarame seemed to shiver, and closed his eyes, clenching his utensils firmly; she was getting to him, and easily.

Something in her screamed for a better reaction, and she reached over, placing her hand lightly on his knee, and he seemed to swallow that simply roll of sushi with some difficulty. She moved her hand to his inner thigh, and kneaded lightly there. It didn't take but a few seconds of that before she found that guilty hand grasped within one of his own, and Madarame facing her fully with an expression filled with pain and pleading that lit her skin aflame.

Madarame turned to face her in his chair, catching her leg between his own and squeezing... He leaned in to whisper something to her, "I'm done here if you'd like to continue what you're doing elsewhere..." Saki's jaw dropped, and she blushed deeply, never expecting something so direct from Madarame. He lifted the hand he held captive to his lips, brushing her knuckles with the gentlest kisses. She tried to pull her hand away, but he would have none of it, not before taking the offending hand and pressing it against his chest, where she could feel his heart pounding rapidly as the room suddenly became very bright.

The Eastern Sunlight pierced through the opening in Saki's curtains, warming her face and alerting her to the fact that she had indeed been dreaming, and a new day was beginning. She grumbled to herself, pulling the covers over her head, wishing she could return to that dream and follow it wherever it wanted to go. But the sleep would not come, and she had filled this day with shopping plans. She would soon drag herself into reality.


	6. Chapter 6: Girls Night Out?

_[ Later that evening at Bikibo's ]_

After a light dinner, and catching up on the recent events of life, Saki and Ohno had plowed through some serious liquor. Saki had hit the dance floor twice with Ohno, and they easily caught the attention of every guy present. Unfortunately, Saki had no interest in any of them, and returning to their table for the second time, Saki huffed, "Imagine the nerve of THAT guy, dancing with me in that manner.. hmph."

Ohno could only giggle, sliding a beer towards Saki. In her anger, Saki forgot that she had already had almost too much to drink to stand up strait, she downed the beer quickly, and Ohno slid her own beer towards Saki, grinning as the girl took the challenge.

"What are you looking for here, anyhow?" Ohno queried, smirking as she admired Saki's choice in attire.

Saki wore an off-the-shoulder fitted top in teal, which complimented her skin tone perfectly. Her earrings were delicate silver hearts dangling from tiny chains.. and a short jean skirt and brown heels to match her purse finished the outfit.

"Well, obviously nothing here has anything worth looking at. I mean, there are a few pretty boys out here.. and there was that one guy.. he seemed nice, but no thanks anyhow..." Saki was already confused and stuttering. And swaying in her seat.

"We should go... but I need to visit the ladies' room first." Ohno admitted.

As usual, Saki held Ohno's purse when necessary while in the bathroom, and Ohno returned the favor. Saki spent an unusually long time flailing around in the stall and talking to herself, but when she returned, there was no sign of Ohno. After washing her hands, and searching around the inside of the small building for almost 15 minutes, Saki wandered out the front door of Bikibo's. With Ohno nowhere in sight, and Saki's purse gone with her, Saki fished her cellphone out of her pocket. Barely able to thumb through her contacts list, she finally reached Ohno's name and dialed her.

"Hellooooo!" Ohno chimed on the other end of the line.

"Where the heck are you? I'm serious.. I think we've missed the last train, it's late... and this place is closing... you have my purse, and I'm seriously craving a smoke.. I'm sure there's one in that purse _somewhere_.." Saki hadn't bought cigarettes in three weeks.

"Um.... well." Ohno seemed to hesitate.

"Well, what?" Saki leaned against the brick building, leaning down to remove her heels. She simply couldn't stand on them anymore. The world seemed to spin with every step.

"Well, I'm on the train." Ohno finally said.

There was a long silence.

"You're WHAT??!!" Saki's eyes filled with tears... she was clear across town from home, too far to walk, and completely sick to her stomach at the news that she was completely and utterly alone without her purse, and drunk!

"Well.. um... if you go east two blocks, and then north two more, you'll see a red building with number 1131 on it.." Ohno stuttered.

"1131...? That sounds... familiar... like.." Saki almost choked on her own words as she glanced around, remembering the neighborhood, and who exactly lived there. As realization dawned on her, she grabbed the nearest light pole to steady herself. "You set me UP??!"

"Yes... but you have no alternative now, huh? He doesn't know anything about this! Good luck!" And the call was disconnected.

Saki could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She really had no alternative. It had gotten very cold outside, and a few doors down, the club had shoved the remaining customers out and locked the doors. The last train had sailed, or something like that, and Saki began to quickly execute the directions given to her. Two blocks East... towards Madarame's house.


	7. Chapter 7: No Alternative

_[ Meanwhile at Madarame's Home ]_

_Jingle. Jingle. Ring. Ring._

Who the hell would be calling at such an hour? Madarame had fallen asleep at his desk, working on rewriting some important files for work, to lighten his workload at the beginning of the following week. As he lifted his head from his desk, he grumbled at the pain in his neck from the awkward position he had slumbered in, and grabbed his phone, glaring furiously. Private number.

"You need to go outside. Walk toward Bikibo's. Saki is in trouble." He recognized the voice.

"What do you mean, trouble?!?" Madarame jumped from his seat.

"She's drunk... and alone. And walking. In the dark." Click.

Without a moment of hesitation, Madarame grabbed his jacket, and slid on his shoes on the way out the door, running down four flights of stairs and into the street. Saki was easy enough to spot as she rounded the corner, arms wrapped around herself. It had gotten pretty cold, and she was shivering from that, or perhaps a combination of cold and fear.

"Saki-chan!" Madarame yelped, startled to see her as he jogged to her. His coat immediately found its way around her. She seemed angry in her silence, but she stumbled every few steps, despite her determination. The scent of his cologne enveloped her senses, much like a dream she once had, one that she never wanted to wake up from.

Madarame couldn't help but notice her attire. Though the top was very flattering in color, it exposed her shoulders, as well as her chest more than he would like. It was loose fitting below the elastic that held it up, lovely. What really caught him off guard was the skirt, or lack thereof. Mini skirts were not generally his favorite thing, but Saki's legs were something to be admired. If only they were ever available to his touch, and he would have loved to have them wrapped around him anytime...

"You can stay at my place for a bit. It's cramped and messy, but it's warm and safe... I'm so sorry about this..." He still earned nothing but silence from Saki.

"The trains will be running again in a few hours, then I'll help you home. Sound okay?" He peered over at Saki, who nodded gently, her skin reddened.

After much effort, they finally found their way up to the fourth floor and into Madarame's apartment. He wildly flew about, straitening and organizing the place, but Saki would hardly notice the mess. She spent the next few hours worshipping a porcelain god, and crying alone in the bathroom.


	8. Chapter 8: Close Proximity REVISED

Saki couldn't have slept at Madarame's place even if she wanted to. But after her body cleansed itself of the poisonous alcohol, she began to feel much better. Madarame offered her water, and when the time came, he escorted her to the train, and even rode it back to her side of town, and even walked her back to her house.

He looked exausted. and sending him home didn't seem fair to her, so Saki easily invited him into her apartment, which she had luckily kept tidy. Her apartment was small, and she didn't have a couch. Saki couldn't consider sleeping after drinking and being sick, so while she took a shower, Madarame entertained himself somehow reading one of her magazines, and listening to the sounds coming from her bathroom. It was enough to drive a sane man crazy, but Madarame was exhausted, and found the sound of running water a welcome lullaby.

When Saki finally emerged from her shower, she noticed that Madarame had fallen asleep on her bed, laying on his side uncomfortably with his legs hanging off the side. Saki smiled to herself and tugged her robe, securing the belt around her waist as she moved to remove his socks. She shifted him and lifted his legs onto the bed. Just as she began to pull covers up over him, he awoke with a start.

"Gah! I didn't mean to fall asleep like that! How rude... and in your bed!" He cried.

The words dawned slowly on both of them, and they both glowed red in embarrassment.

"No, no! It's okay.. you worked a long shift today, didn't you? And you're up so late, it's all my fault for putting myself in that situation... please get some rest.." Saki smiled softly.

"I can't sleep here, where would you sleep? I can head home.." Madarame tried to get up, but Saki placed a firm hand on his chest, staying him. She could feel his rapid heartbeat, wild. For the second time, she was reminded of that dream. Even more so when he grabbed her hand in his own.

"Please.. at least..." Madarame seemed desperate. "There's a chair over there.. I'll sleep there. Or the floor.. I can't impose like this."

It seemed absurd. He would sleep in a metal folding chair, no different from the ones in the Genshiken clubroom? Saki wouldn't have that either.

"Impose..?" Saki stared at him for a moment, then looked down at his hand on her own, as if expecting something to happen. There was an awkward silence there, and Madarame didn't know what to expect next, but he removed his hand from hers, fully expecting a pummeling at any time.

Saki's hair was wavy and damp, her skin shimmering with moisture. His imagination simply soared away in regards to her bath robe, which gaped slightly to expose plenty of ample breast to Madarame's sight. The garment was barely held closed by a simple belt, well within his reach. Miles of gorgeous legs, He forced himself not to stare, and looked away blushing so hard his ears were glowing red. If he moved now, it would be all too obvious, his desire to pull her right into the bed with him.

Madarame was cornered.

Saki observed him for a long moment, realizing a bit too late that her robe was slightly less modest than she originally thought. But she wasn't about to go back for pajamas now and risk Madarame hauling out the door in her absence, not while she had him here, after not seeing him for so long, after missing him so desperately.

"Move over." Saki said softly.

"Pardon..?" He gulped, a chill running up his spine, covering him in goose bumps.

"Move over, I said.." Saki nudged at him lightly, and he bolted to his feet, stumbling over a small table and landing directly in her guest chair, sinking into its deep cushioned sanctuary with a sigh of relief.

Saki couldn't help but smile, completely satisfied with his nervous reactions to her. He was, at this moment unable to deny her attraction to him.

"It reclines, you know.." She leaned over, releasing the catch on side of the chair, sending Madarame sprawling backwards with a yelp. As he lay there, eyes wide like saucers, Saki smiled again down to him, reaching over to mess his hair before settling back onto her bed. She reached for one of her blankets, her favorite blanket.

_This must surely be heaven_… Madarame couldn't help but believe he had died and gone to a higher, better world, where he could be nearer Saki. The room smelled almost like pastries, that soft feminine scent that he'd long ago grown to adore. He'd be snapped away from his daydream as a soft, silken quilt landed atop him, followed by a pillow.

"Goodniiight…" Saki offered a soft, sing-song closing to the evening, rolling over and snuggling into her blankets and absurd amount of pillows. Madarame had mentally noted the mountain of pillows and plush, thinking it must be far more comfortable snuggled amid the pillows, and next to the secret object of his affections..

He hugged the borrowed blanket and pillow close as her slender arm snaked from beneath her linens to click the lamp off.

"Goodnight.." He said softly, longing to say more, so much more.. _..my love._


	9. Chapter 9: A Time Never to Be Forgotten

_Would you like me to take you to a place in this city, where wishes come true..?_

It seemed that even in his dreams, Madarame proved to be one hardcore otaku. He awoke curled up in a warm, soft space, having slept better than he had in what seemed like years. A pleasant, sweet feminine scent mixed with.. pancakes? Heaven.

But heaven wasn't what Madarame was accustomed to at all, and he shot upright and aware with the realization that he wasn't home at all.

"Eeeeyagh!" He threw the blanket aside, forcing the chair into its standard position unceremoniously, a pillow previously lent flying of in another direction. Madarame panted, heart racing as he peered around the room; pretty, frilly clothes hanging about, books neatly arranged behind crystal flower figuringes, soft pink walls, floral curtains.

"Is that how you always wake up..?"

Madarame blinked over at the perplexed and unamused Saki, who stood in what Madarame could only assume was the kitchen area, due to the tantalizing aromas coming from that direction. Saki poked at one of her favorite pillows with her foot, that previously lend pillow, frowning deeply, but neglecting to fetch it from the floor due to her hands being full with a mixing bowl and spoon.

Madarame eyed her from head to toe – he couldn't help it. There stood Saki, hair somewhat messed, as she hadn't had time or thought to style it. She wore a small tank top that stopped just shy of her belly button, and some matching shorts. She'd thought enough to put on a casual apron to keep herself unsoiled with breakfast goodies. Saki seemed to become more self aware, continuing to stir pancake mix as she turned away and vanished back into the kitchen, affording Madarame a momentary glimpse of fitted shorts. _Someone help me, she's gorgeous… I'm doomed._

"I'll have breakfast ready momentarily… I'm making some sweet pancakes… if you'd like to wash your face and such, feel free. You know where the bathroom is." Saki encouraged him from the kitchen, and he lifted himself from the chair finally, stretching and moving quickly into the bathroom, where he would wash his face and freshen up a bit.

_This is Heaven. This is Hell. I mean, I'm here… Not because we're together, but because she needed me, I was there for her… now we'll go back to normal. Hell, I'll probably never see this place again.._

Madarame, disgusted with his morning appearance, turned on the faucet and splashed his face with lukewarm water, rubbed his eyes, splashed again, letting his thoughts run rampant on the subject of recent events.

_Can I hope that I've gone from a footnote in a chapter of her life, to a meaningful existence? _

He reached for her hand towel, a soft, frilly pink thing, wiping his face clean, looking at himself again through the looking glass, running a hand through his hair a few times to calm the chaos. He then sighed, satisfied as he would be, and glanced around the bathroom curiously.

Fancy feminine body washes and soaps, shampoos, lotions. He idly picked up the lotion left to rest on the front of her hanging shelf, thumbing it open and sniffing at it. Immediately he recognized the scent as one she wore frequently, almost every day. Shea Flower Heaven-Scent.. He rubbed some on his hands and smiled to himself, closing his eyes for a moment, dreaming to himself what he knew would only ever be a dream; to embrace her, know her more closely. He glanced over at her body was, noting her choice of mostly lavender and honey scented products.

_This is definitely as close as I'll ever be to her.._

He extracted himself from the bathroom, wandered carefully towards the kitchen, peeking around the corner before stepping into the small room behind Saki. Over her shoulder he could see her stacking pancakes onto a plate, slathering it with a strawberry mix, some sweet syrup, and some whipped cream looking topping.

She spun around with the plate, gasped, and placed her free hand on her chest, "You startled me, how long were you standing there.. nevermind…. Here."

She shoved the plate at Madarame while he marveled at her face sans the makeup. _She's naturally gorgeous.. this doesn't help my cause any_. he felt condemned to suffer eternally, always to look and never touch. She must have noticed his stare, because a blush crept upon those cheeks and she brushed past him to the main room, grabbing up her makeup bag and some clothing from a hanger, vanishing into the bathroom. "Enjoy! I'm going to powder my face!" She announced from behind a slamming bathroom door, leaving Madarame to savor every bite of strawberry drowned pancakes.

He made up his mind that this was all he needed. Correction- all he had a chance at having in this lifetime. He'd settle for it, but always long and dream of more.

He would finish his pancakes and sneak out quietly to the sound of her hair dryer, avoiding any further awkward confrontations, and he'd remember it as the best night of his life, followed by the best morning of his life, and the most delicious breakfast of his life…. A time never to be forgotten.


	10. Chapter 10: This Confusion

"You have a distinct… look about you today."

It was the kind of greeting all of the Genshiken members and pretty much anyone acquainted with Ohno had come to dread; the opening of a can of worms, the ultimate _I'm about to pry into your life_ line, if you will.

"Hm?" Saki feigned innocence, after all, what could she do? She should have run while she had the chance, and now she'd been caught smack dab in the middle of the Genshiken room, which no reason for being there, daydreaming, and deep in thought about recent events concerning a certain excessively otaku male, the breed with tremendous glasses and unkempt hair.

"What ails you?" Ohno wraped her arm around Saki's shoulder, sliding closer as Saki failed to fool anyone into believing she was actually reading that new magazine she'd just grabbed as a side note on her way to the Genshiken. Luckily, Ohno and Saki were the only two in the room at this early hour.

"What makes you think something's wrong..?" Saki afforded Ohno a sidelong glance that easily stated _I'm not in the mood_.

"Well, you haven't really spoken to me in days…. Ever since that night.." Of course, Ohno meant the night she left Saki stranded, a purposeful attempt at putting Saki and Madarame in an embarrassing, potentially compromising situation.

_This entire scenario is ridiculous_.. She thought to herself. It was something she remembered thinking that morning, waking up with Madarame in her room, and yet somehow feeling completely safe, safer than she would have felt alone in that apartment. It often got cold and lonely there, and somehow it almost felt right when he was around. Or it could be just loneliness in general getting the best of her, making her cling to whatever masculine company she could get… _Madarame… masculine..?_ She laughed inside.

"You mean that night that was completely your fault? That night that you left me there, alone, drunk, vulnerable? That you would have the audacity to bring it up knowing that I'd still be angry with you about that is simply uncanny." Saki stated, dryly.

This was all Ohno's fault. Saki didn't need that night, she didn't need to feel lost and helpless, she didn't need to be worrying over Madarame. She had her own worries; She needed to worry about work, some extra courses she'd planned on picking up to brush up on some computer skills, Kousaka.

And yet here Saki was, sitting in Genshiken at every opportunity all of a sudden, after claiming she'd never return. Was one night with Madarame enough to bring her back? Saki had almost forgotten that she'd left Genshiken for good. And yet, here she was, once again, and lately she'd put some considerable effort into making sure her hairstyle was cuter than normal, her clothes were a little more feminine than usual, and she'd been wearing nothing but short to mid-length skirts for days now. Saki knew that her sexy attire had been noticed, and that it had been written off by everyone else as Saki keeping herself nice, always expecting a visit from Kousaka at any given time. Much to Ohno's dismay, Tanaka had noticed one skirt in particular, and a comment on how nicely it suited Saki had earned him a slap in the head from Ohno earlier that week. But it wasn't Kousaka Saki had dressed up for – she'd been hoping she'd get a chance to cross paths with Madarame, maybe have another casual dinner with him, and now that she knew how nervous she was capable of making him, maybe have some fun teasing him in a friendly way.

Was it really all a game? Saki didn't know, but she'd been so starved of attention from Kousaka lately, she needed something to make her feel great again. And somehow, she always seemed to feel great about herself around Madarame. Was this fair?

Ohno had been rendered speechless, slumping into her chair with a "Humph!" Luckily for Saki, she had bought herself just enough time for her own phone to ring, and she dug at her purse excitedly. Who could it be? Could Kona and Rei want to go shopping soon? A lunch date? Had she won a drawing for a shopping spree at one of her favorite local clothing boutiques? She was getting far too optimistic here.

The caller ID stated _Kousaka 3_, and Saki was very hesitant to answer. She didn't know how to feel about how she felt at all.

"Good morning!" She mustered a cheerful greeting.

"Good morning, Saki! I haven't heard from you in a few days!" There was a pause, a hesitation; she normally called him daily, nightly, but had neglected to recently. And for what? Worry over Madarame?

"I'm going to be completely free tonight." Kousaka continued, and he seemed to be fishing for a response for Saki. "I thought maybe we could have dinner, you know, something romantic?" There was another pause, "Or whatever you're in the mood for."

Saki smiled, Kousaka was trying. He usually did a little bit of trying when he felt something was wrong, "That sounds great, sweety! Whatever you had in mind is fine, Meet at my place at 7:00? Great!" Saki sounded excited, even appeared excited, at least until she hung up the phone.

Saki flipped her phone closed and peered over at Ohno, who was frowning deeply in her direction.

"That'd better be one hell of a steak!" Ohno huffed, "I can't remember the last time you and Kousaka went out on a date, and to be honest, I wasn't expecting that I'd hear about it ever again…" She looked thoughtful a moment, as though the wheels were once again starting to turn, creating some grand plot for Saki to fall into once again.

"Hey now… Kousaka and I are still together." Saki said it, but somehow it didn't sound believable. Truly, how often were they actually together anymore? What were they? Occasional company? That wasn't enough for Saki, yet somehow it was enough for Kousaka. Something had to give.

"I'm not upset. I'm not trying to upset you or push your buttons… it's just.." Ohno sighed, "I guess I kinda hope for a different prince charming for you. Nothing against Kousaka, as usual. He just doesn't fit the storyline in my opinion.."

"I'm not one of your manga dramas…" Saki almost growled.

"Shojo?" Ohno offered.

"Don't talk about my life like it belongs in a comic drama…" Saki gathered her purse, heading towards the door. She reached for the doorknob, only for it to be snatched from her reach as she leaned out the door, the door opened per another's will, and Madarame and Saki collided perfectly, sending manga and cosmetics flying.

"But Saki, you have to admit, you're the perfect role in one." Ohno giggled madly at the perfect situation, perfect in her opinion, anyhow.


	11. Chapter 11: Boyfriend Fail

**Meet me at the fountain in front of Juki's**. The text from Kousaka revealed that he was running behind.

Unfortunately, Saki was also running a bit late.

Saki looked herself over in the mirror. Her hair was shiny, lovely. A low cut blouse, a mid-thigh length lace hemmed skirt combined with some adorable grey and black patterned stockings and a new pair of pricey brand boots brought her look together nicely. Though she approved of the outfit, it was more along the lines of something she'd wear shopping or just when she needed a boost to her self esteem. It would turn heads, but it certainly wasn't one of her _knock 'em dead_ dresses.

In summary, the highly fashionable outfit obviously lacked the effort and sexy edge Saku usually put into dressing for a date with Kousaka. She was dressing more conservatively, when normally she'd don some off-the-shoulder number that would keep Kousaka sweating all night. The constant tease of a flash of flesh here and there would guide them through the night to the ultimate destination. It was an ingenious plot, Saki classified it as "bringing out the big guns". However, tonight Saki didn't feel one iota of sexy or romantic. She didn't feel much like going out.

Leaning against the mirror to apply a bit of mascara, Saki didn't even try lie to herself about why she wasn't feeling it tonight. It didn't feel comfortable anymore, natural. She even felt a bit guilty for even agreeing to go out with Kousaka at all. She'd been unhappy with him for awhile, mostly due to neglect.

_This is Kousaka. I miss him! I will have so much fun tonight!_ Saki's inner voice seemed to try to convince her of what should be fact.

Saki selected the purse that best complimented her attire, but before filling it with all the necessities of a lady, she'd afford herself another sidelong glance in that offending mirror. Her fears were confirmed – she didn't look happy, nor did her current outfit measure up to the ones she'd been wearing in hopes of crossing paths with Madarame.

To hell with this! Angry with herself, she flung the empty purse into the closet and began to search through her clothing, until finally she pried a sexy little dress from the confines of her wardrobe. Stripping her previous outfit off, she squeezed into the stunning little dress and slipped her feet into her favorite black pumps. Another inspection in the mirror would reveal her gorgeously snug dress, accented with black and silver sequins across the front, a sweeping off-the-shoulder neckline, and mid-thigh-length leg coverage; very classy. She donned her knee-length black dress coat and smiled at herself in the mirror, though she looked close to tears, and as she tossed a few items into her purse, she stopped to add a drop of perfume to her collar bone.

"I love Kousaka." She said softly to herself, frowning, and pushing herself toward the door.

Saki. Kasukabe. She'd ran through his mind for days now, much worse than the usual occasional pining. Saki had become the center of his world again, and Madarame didn't know exactly how to cope with it. He'd forced himself to stay away from any place they could meet, in hopes that this obsession would pass.

_Absence makes the heart grow fonder_, Madarame thought to himself. Another thought invaded with a response, _Then Saki must be deeply in love with Kousaka by now._

Madarame clenched his fist and gritted his teeth at the thought. Of all the stories he'd read, television shows and games, he never would have believed that loving someone could hurt this much. The storylines, comedic, tragic, they never could completely portray the emotional turmoil of unrequited love. He guessed that it was something that could only be understood through experience.

Work could only distract him so much, and then his shift ended. Then overtime ended, and there would be no work left to be done. Madarame could do nothing then but go home and continue to stagnate.

_This is just pathetic and depressing! I need to get out of this slump!_ He forced himself to move.

With thoughts of Kasukabe slowly driving him mad, Madarame would do the only thing he knew to do to cope with such a problem, or any problem for that matter. He would immerse himself in anime, games, soda and ramen. Akihabara! He would take himself to a different heaven, find something else to occupy his mind – some new manga, some nifty new technology to wonder over.

Still in his work suit, Madarame slung his outerwear coat on and headed out to Akiba, hoping to find some relief.

The temperature outside was dropping, the wind had picked up, and Saki pulled her coat closer around her to fend off the cold. With a shiver, she peered at her watch curiously to find Kousaka a little more than an hour and a half late. She couldn't have missed him, as she barely managed to show up at their designated meeting time, barely on time. She checked her cell phone for a message – nothing.

She thumbed through her contacts and dialed up Kousaka via his cell phone, wondering what might have gone wrong this time. What tiny amount of excitement Saki might have felt for the evening died as his cell phone rang through once, twice, and then went to voice mail. Saki couldn't help but feel abandoned knowing that his phone was set to send you to voice mail no sooner than the fifth ring. She tried again, and accessed his voicemail almost instantly.

"Hi, honey.. it's me, Saki. Just wondering where you are. I've been waiting, it's been almost two hours, and no sign of you, no word. Please call me so I don't worry." She sighed, hanging up and sending a text as well.

**Should I stop waiting? It's very cold outside.** She pressed send, then thumbed through her contacts again, until Madarame's number was highlighted.

_I'm a fool, but here goes._ She almost laughed at her desperation as she typed out a text to Madarame.

**What're you up to?** She sent.

She stood up, began walking toward the train station, considering going to a movie alone, or some late night shopping. With the holidays around the corner, most shops would be open late, affording Saki some retail therapy. Electric Town was close by, she could go pick out a new cell phone if she so desired.

**I'm in heaven! Akiba! How about you?** The text response was quick, quicker than most any response Saki had ever gotten from Kousaka. She had barely expected Madarame to return her text at all.

**Almost there, actually. Hungry?** Saki was already on the train by the time she responded. Maybe the evening wasn't a total loss after all.

**Starved. Where to?**

Not a total loss at all.


	12. Chapter 12: Swept Away

[MANY apologies for the time gap between updates! I promise that I have not given up on ANY of my stories, and now that I have some free time... I am DILIGENTLY working at updating. Many chapters are already underway, so expect more frequent updates in the coming weeks. This story is drawing to a close, but I already have another Genshiken story in the making. Enjoy and REVIEW! I do not ignore reviews!

Much love!

-LovelyWrath]

Madarame's evening seemed in slow motion amid the hustle and bustle of Akihabara, ever since the text messages from Saki began, messages that threatened to stop his heart in place, just because they were from her, that she'd not forgotten him entirely.

Madarame's previous hunger was replaced by the nervous tightening of his stomach muscles as he tried not to wring his gloved hands together and pace the entrance. As usual, he tried to push his almost obsessive thoughts of Saki into the back corner closet of his mind and shut the door tightly, but despite his best efforts, he simply couldn't manage it. Something felt off tonight; something clearly wasn't right with the world. Generally when he felt this way, it meant something either horrifically terrible was about to happen, or that he was on the cusp of some monumental feat of greatness. He wished desperately for the latter, though his pessimistic nature wouldn't allow him to believe that anything great could come of this dinner - just another night sitting at the sushi bar making small talk with Saki followed by him walking that long path home to a cold, lonely apartment - a trek he dreaded directly after every single encounter with Saki.

Still, he couldn't help but imagine himself telling her how he truly felt. He knew she'd respond one of two ways, neither of which involved reciprocation of the feelings in question. One scenario involved Saki taking another swig of courage juice and laughing him off as though she couldn't believe it wasn't some sort of wild and fantastic joke. The only other way she'd respond would be to flat out tell him to shut up and not screw around and say idiotic things. He knew she wouldn't always be able to completely ignore the intensity of his love for her, but she had defense mechanisms, just like he did, and his love for her was more than obviously unwelcome. He couldn't allow himself to imagine that she could ever feel the same, that he could ever feel her pressed against him in a warm embrace, the feel of her soft, round lips... This daydream had to stop. Immediately.

So he would enjoy a nice dinner with Saki, and he was lucky to have that! After all, it wasn't fair for him to expect anything more from her.

As Saki approached, Madarame peered in her direction over the rim of his rounded glasses that had slipped down his nose. After all, Madarame was in the habit of walking with his head down, like a shameful dog, his low self esteem and desire to float below social radars preventing him from walking with his head held high. He didn't need the lenses to know her beauty - he'd known it for years now, worshiped her in his mind. Sometimes he simply admired her beauty and courage - sometimes he imagined things that one would only find on the back wall of the adult dojinshi shop. Her light hair and fair skin extended down into a low-cut black dress that seemed to cater daringly to her every movement. The sparkling sequined design drew his eyes downward and he allowed himself to inconspicuously admire the curve of her leg where her dress ended before the hem of her jacket, which fluttered behind her. The slight heel of her black shoes accentuated delicate ankles.

"There you are!" Saki huffed, causing his gaze to raise from what he hoped she believed to be the ground. Despite the low temperature, her face was flushed pink and full of some sort of cheer - she seemed somehow relieved to see him.

For the sake of preserving what friendship they might have left, he knew he'd have to bite his tongue and simply enjoy her company. This only way he could love her was to remain a good and true friend. And treat her to dinner, courtesy of his savings account, which he'd accessed mere moments after their texted conversation ended.

"Well. Let's eat! I've worked up an appetite navigating this crowd!" Saki's gaze was avoiding, and her smile seemed forced, masking some something she didn't care to share with him at the moment. These things all somehow stood out to him, and wondered whether she'd sought him this evening out of necessity. If she needed him to cheer her up, he'd take whatever he could get. Desperately in love with the girl in front of him, Madarame inhaled cold air slowly as Saki tilted her head quizically at his motionlessness and lack of a greeting. How beautiful she was.

She smiled, still, in an attempt to cope with whatever situation they were currently in, she reached out and slid her fingers around his arm, which felt warm despite layers of sweater and jacket. She tugged him toward the entrance of that familiar little restaurant at the back of a bookstore, but Madarame's hand found its way to rest atop hers, holding her hand in the crook of his elbow as he turned and pulled her in another direction. That long breath he'd taken moments before was exhaled, and seemed to fog the bottom of his glasses as they began to move, she couldn't help but notice. He could feel her fingers tighten around his arm, and he suddenly felt empowered with such a gorgeous woman next to him. He could feel the gazes of passers by, knowing they likely wondered what a beautiful girl could possibly be doing with a four-eyed jerk like him.

"W... wait! Where are we going? I thought we were eating here!" Saki objected weakly, not sure of what to make of Madarame's sudden forceful lead, but making no effort to draw back her arm. She stumbled into step beside him, mouth agape.

"No. I'd like to take you to Midorou's." It was, after all, one of her favorite restaurants. Sure, it was fancier, more expensive, but this could be considered a special occasion, right? And if they never dined together again, at least he could make a fine memory of their last encounter. She was dressed rather nicely, and he still had on a new suit that he'd gotten for work, and he'd recently started taking some small pride in his appearance. This would definitely work tonight.

Saki's eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously, "You can't take me there!" How could she explain her feelings? She wanted to say no, but then again, she wanted to be in a place where she'd be spoiled with delicious food and good company.

"Why's that?" Madarame slowed his pace as they approached the restaurant entrance, afforded her a side-long glance, one eyebrow raised in question. She definitely wasn't used to Madarame taking the lead and making the decisions for her.

"I... it's expensive! And wonderful... and it's too much..." Saki bit her lip as he stopped to fully face her.

"I want to take you there." Madarame paused to stare at a flabbergasted Saki. She seemed filled with questions, inhibitions. He wasn't used to being on the other side of things. As a general rule, Saki suggested the restaurants and Madarame had trailed along, blissfully content with whatever time he could spend with her. Stolen time.

Saki's mouth closed, and she nodded gently in acceptance of his offer, though she didn't know what it all truly meant. Part of her wanted him to whisk her into the restaurant, where she knew she'd thoroughly enjoy the evening. Part of her feared hurting him. Another part of her wanted to embrace whatever this was as something real, something beautiful. When Saki's world had been filled with disappointments and broken promises, Madarame would always be there, trying to cheer her up in some small way, or engage her in ridiculous vebal battles to distract her from her problems.

_But this is __**MADARAME!**_Saki's brain seemed to scream, but it didn't stop her from following his lead, through double doors and into a dimly lit foyer, where they would be greeted and ushered to cushioned seats, tables with stainless white cloths, candles.


	13. Chapter 13: It's a Date?

Nothing says romance like a delicious candlelit dinner, great wine, and quiet, slow music.

Madarame settled back into his seat, taking slow breaths, taking in every detail of the vision before him. _That's right_, he thought,_ I'll just carefully monitor the situation_.

Saki sat before him, coat removed courtesy of the host, munching on dumplings and various tea party sized appetizers. Madarame hadn't paid much mind to what she'd ordered at first, but simply nodded a silent approval when she asked if this or that'd be okay. She'd ordered a fruity drink from the bar; he'd ordered some saki. Her presence warmed him, before his drink ever arrived. His gaze slid across her smooth, bare shouders. She'd neglected to look at him much, but quickly downed her drink when it arrived; she ordered another within minutes of recieving the first before finally lifting her gaze to Madarame. It was enough to prompt him to consume his first shot of the evening, then pour a second one.

She couldn't help but laugh lightly at the situation, and at herself for staring Madarame down over a candlelit dinner.

"What?" Madarame asked, plucking a dumpling from the plate between them.

"Nothing. Just.. isn't this strange to you?" She lifted her drink to her lips.

He shook his head, playing it as cool as possible. "Not at all." He took his second shot, then poured himself another, staring seriously across the table. _Playing it... so cool. Who am I fooling..?_

She couldn't help but snicker, "But.. It's like we're on a date, or something."

Madarame paused, lifted his drink, downed the next shot. At this rate, he'd be no closer to Saki for being closer to the floor. "Aren't we?" He settled the empty shot glass back on the table, and tapped his fingers across the tablecloth, awaiting a response.

Saki sat very still for a moment, blinked a few times, glanced around. _Friends don't generally treat friends to places like this. At least not my friends_. She hesitated long before nodding finally, "I guess we are.." And her thoughts flew to the concenquences of admitting that. What were the terms? Was this just an evening of company to soothe their loneliness? Surely she must me lonely to end up here with Madarame. Surely he must me lonely to be willing to go to such extremes and treat her to such an expensive meal just for the pleasure of her company? Did he expect more? Being that he'd never shown real interest in anything bust manga, video games, and anime in the past, it was hard to imagine him interested in a real female. In fact, he'd only ran away when Angela came on to him.

Saki quelled a facial twitch at the thought of it; Angela was about as subtle as a freight train, and tactful as a hippopotamus. Despite the humor Saki found in the situations at the time, she wondered how truly awkward Madarame must have felt then. How awkward did he feel now? Very, she decided, as he didn't usually drink so quickly and so suddenly. Like he threw himself haphazardly into a situation at the smallest opening, the slightest opportunity. Saki sighed quietly.

They sat in silence awhile, taking turns munching on appetizers until the main course arrived. The waiter settled a large iron pot of noodles, cabbage, mushrooms, and sliced beef on the table.

Madarame watched as Saki served herself some vegetables and a thin slice of beef, dipping each bite carefully in a side dish of sauce with egg. He served himself when she'd chosen her food, but paused to watch her between bites. He'd barely eaten anything when he served himself another shot of saki. Then another.

Saki stopped to watch him, tilting her head, "So what's on your mind..?" She hadn't thought to count his drinks, but he'd at least had four, perhaps five shots, she noted.

It was Madarame's turn to laugh at the situation. He shook his head and took a bite of mushroom before answering, "You're all dressed up, enjoying a delicious dinner, but you're trapped at this little table with the most hardcore otaku you know. I'm obviously not your choice of dinner dates." He took a bite of cabbage, motioning at her with his empty chop sticks, "I mean, this is nice. Really nice." He nodded, sitting up. He removed his glasses, folding them, setting them on the table, but it didn't help; he could still see her. "But it's not really a date. As much as I'd like it to be something more than it is..." Madarame rubbed the bridge of his nose, where his glasses usually rested. "It's not going to be." _So I can relax... yeah, right. _"No pressure."

Saki sunk down in her seat a bit, knowing that Madarame couldn't possibly be really enjoying the expensive meal, or her company while hurting so deeply over their situation, over her. And she hadn't made it easy on him, showing up in one of her sexiest outfits. She'd thoughtlessly contacted him as a last resort when Kousaka had stood her up. She let herself get hurt, and stepped all over Madarame's heart. It didn't make her feel better.

Madarame was always a nice guy, even with all of his quirks, odd habits, hobbies. He was a little embarassing at times, but whenever outside of his inner circle, or in the presence of her acquaintances, he managed to automatically filter himself, and behave in a friendly, respectful, normal way, much to Saki's relief.

He was always there for her. She remembered being drunk a time or two, and he was always nearby, never to take advantage, but always looking out. He'd even waited outside a restroom for her on one of her less graceful evenings. She'd only accused him of being a pervert in response, instead of thanking him. She never thanked him. There were so many little things, so many times he'd made her laugh, fetched her a drink, offered her a walk to the train. He always did it in such a nonchalant way, or somehow made excuses, such as _I'm going that way anyhow_.

Saki felt ashamed of herself. She was also greatly impressed with Madarame for being so patient and kind with such a fickle girl.

He peered over at her, and forced a light laugh, "You're speechless at the thought. I don't know what to say." He poured himself another shot of saki, settled the bottle nearby carefully, and reached for the small glass.

Saki shook her head, her hand shooting out almost involuntarily to still his hand at the shot glass. Madarame froze in place, and waited. Her hand was soft and warm, her grip was firm. After a few moments, the feeling slipped away and she lowered her head.

"I'm sorry. I'm just really enjoying dinner with you, and I don't think it would go as well if you were shit-faced before dessert." She smiled a little. She was the Saki he fell in love with, beautiful and bold.

"I'm not going to get shit-faced." His brow furrowed. He was lying, in fact, he might already be nearing the point of shit-faced-ness. He reached for the glass again, only to have it snatched from beneath his hand. Saki smirked at him, setting it on her side of the table, out of his reach as possible.

She served herself more vegetables, and he followed suit, continuing until the plates were nearly cleared. The food was delicious and filling, as it should be with a ticket at least ten times what he'd normally pay for a more casual meal. It was fine, though. He'd been saving up and working hard for close to two years now. He hadn't been to the last comic con, and didn't intend to go to the next one... somehow it had lost it's thrill for him, somewhere along the way.

"So, what's the plan after dinner? Where will you take me then?" Saki asked, grinning before sipping the remaining broth from her bowl.

Madarame could have choked. He hadn't thought that they'd be doing anything after such an awkward dinner, let alone this late. He glanced around, leaned back, scratched the back of his head in thought.

"It's only just past 10. We could catch a late movie." He offered. He didn't have a clue what was even playing, he just defaulted to what he thought the correct answer was.

"That's great! There's a great little film everyone's been telling me about. It's supposed to be a little scary, if that's okay with you.. it's just that kind of movie, so I'll bet there's a late showing of it." Saki grabbed her cell phone from the depths of her purse and began searching for movie times. Madarame marvelled at how quickly she operated the small smart phone. "There's one for 10:35. Not far away. If we hurry, we can get there in time."

"Check please!" Madarame waved to the nearby staff.

A few minutes later and Madarame had paid the check and they were on their way.


	14. Chapter 14: Oh the Horror Movie!

Madarame felt the warmth of alcohol in his belly and coursing through his veins. The bill wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought it would be, likely because they'd skipped dessert and shared the bottle of saki... at least she had _some_ of the saki. Madarame definitely felt a buzz from the drinks, but with a belly full of food, it was nothing to deter him from seeing a late movie. He hadn't done that in.. years.

"That thing is crazy." He said, staring over at Saki while she checked for new messages on her phone, browsing and social networking at the speed of light with both hands. She had no messages, but she didn't seem too concerned about it. "I still have a flip phone.." He fidgeted, fished his phone from his pocket, holding it up. It was rather unimpressive next to her phone, which apparently had a touch screen. His phone was simplistic, and he liked it that way. A fancy phone like hers would be wasted on the socially inept, or so he believed. He tucked his hands back into his pockets, away from the chill of the night.

"It is pretty extreme. It gives me access to everything. I'm constantly distracted, though I don't really mean to be!" She locked the phone and slid it into her pocket. "That was rude. I'm sorry." She slid her hand between his arm and midsection, grasping him at the elbow firmly. She could feel his warmth through his jacket, and moved to walk closer at his side, seeking some refuge there from the cold. Madarame's face reddened. Perhaps from the cold, perhaps from the alcohol, but most likely because of her proximity.

He dealt with the newness of it all and his own awkwardness by telling himself over, and over, that it wouldn't last. _This is a temporary arrangement. Just for tonight, we're having a little fun! _He wanted and wished for more, but at the same time, this didn't seem as easy as others made it out to be. What if she came to expect to go out on a regular basis, he might not know what to do, or how to react. He'd make an absolute fool of himself, and likely bore her to death, or scare her away.

Tickets were pricey, and Saki already felt guilty for allowing Madarame to foot the bill so far. He insisted on buying the tickets, and they'd disagreed for a few minutes, much to the dismay of that poor guy trapped in the booth, until they finally reached an agreement. Saki had won some discount passes at work, and convinced Madarame to use them, on the condition that he could pay for the concessions without help.

In the theater, it was warmer, but not warm enough. _It's -never- warm enough in here_, Saki thought to herself.

Still, they'd gotten _cold_ drinks, found appropriate seats, peeled off their coats and made themselves quite comfortable, or as comfortable as the situation would allow. When the movie started, Saki welcomed the distraction, and coped with the scary parts of the movie by drinking her entire drink before the first half had passed. However, Madarame didn't always know exactly what was going on during the movie for staring over at Saki every time she reacted, and sometimes when she didn't. He caught himself numerous times, admiring her features, luminated by the movie screen. All he knew was that Saki was beautiful, the movie was made of bad cheese, and Saki had finished her drink.

She slurped at her empty drink container a few times before setting it aside. During the course of the movie, she squealed and covered her eyes several times. At some point, she grabbed his drink and shoved the armrest between them up and out of her way, and she scooted right up against him. She pulled her jacket up to her nose with one hand, gripping his drink tightly with the other, at little too tightly. He extracted the drink from her hand as she leaned against him for warmth and comfort. His body stiffened for the longest time before he relented and figured that it would be best and most comfortable to put his arm around her, replaying in his mind all the ridiculous films of the past where he'd seen a fellow using a yawn and a stretch as an excuse to slide his are around his date at the theater. Madarame tried to be smooth, and knowingly failed. Luckily, Saki didn't seem to notice at all, her body conformed to the situation as she leaned against him.

Saki tensed as the film reached a twisted end, and she sighed and settled back against Madarame. She was warm, she noticed, and had forgotten all about poor Madarame, who sat very still, completely at a loss for what to do. He didn't move an inch, but finally laughed.

"That was an absolutely ridiculous film." He noted.

Saki frowned, sliding forward slowly in her seat, detaching herself from his half-embrace, and turning slightly to face him, "Yeah, it was all about the scary parts." She observed his disbelieving expression, "You weren't scared at all? Not once?"

"No, not scared. There were some gory parts that were pretty gross, that's about it." He nodded. He looked away during the gory parts.

"Pfft. You didn't enjoy this at all, what a waste." She sighed, shaking her head. She rose to her feet, pulling her coat on carefully and zipping it.

Madarame stood, too, somewhat mirroring her actions before gathering the drink cups. "I didn't say I didn't enjoy _this_. I thoroughly enjoyed this." He grinned, "You squealed and flinched and covered your eyes and.. it was a pretty fun flick, I'd say." He turned to leave the aisle, and Saki batted at his back lightly. He was used to harder hits from the woman.

"You're not supposed to watch _me_ during the movie! I'm not the entertainment!" Saki blushed deeply at the thought of him watching her during the film. She'd likely made all kinds of absurd faces and sounds while being startled left and right all the film long. She wasn't used to the attention. Her friends, and even Kousaka, had been just as into the films as she'd been, so monitoring her own reactions had never been an issue.

Outside of the theater, they made their way to the station.

"This was nice." Saki admitted, "Really nice."

Madarame nodded, rubbing his hands together awkwardly, warding off the cold. "It was. It's not very often I get to go out and socialize and do _normal _things."

Saki prodded him in the side, "You do normal things all the time!"

"Oh yeah? Like what?" He countered.

"Uhm." Saki tilted her head. _He got me!_

"Ah, the truth comes out. You think I'm a _complete_ weirdo!" He laughed genuinely. Though he often wished to be less the freak, he was used to how Saki viewed him. This was the comfortable zone he was used to being in.

Their conversation paused as their train arrived, and they stepped on. Saki took a seat and Madarame plopped down next to her. They sat in quietly through a few train stops, before Saki finally broke the silence.

"You're really down on yourself, but you've been a great friend to me, for a long time." Saki finally admitted. "That's more than normal. That's exceptional."

Madarame glanced around, looking at anything but her, trying not to blush. "Took you awhile to think that up... There's no need to say such a thing, you know. I'm just happy you're willing to put up with me occasionally, y'know?"

Saki scooted closer to him, nudged him with her elbow, "Don't act like I'm just making something up to make you feel better. That's how I really feel about it. You treat me well." The thought again occurred to her that she should really start treating Madarame better. She didn't push him further for a response, and she couldn't help but notice as he avoided looking directly at her until the train slowed to the fourth stop, and Saki stood slowly. He dragged his gaze up her frame slowly while she was distracted zipping and adjusting her jacket.

"Here's my stop." She said quietly, and held up a hand before he could stand, "I can make it from here.. no need to walk me." Madarame sunk back down into his seat, suddenly feeling very empty inside. "You've had enough practice being normal for tonight."

Saki approached the door, and Madarame nodded gently at her.

"So save your energy and hurry up to plan our next date!" She smiled brilliantly at a bewildered Madarame, before stepping off of the train, just in time for the doors to shut behind her. She spun around to wave goodbye at Madarame, who nearly leaped from his seat to spin and look out the window, with an exclamation that she could only read through the window. "Wait, what now?" It took a few seconds for her words to settle in, and his jaw just hung open as the train accelerated away.

"Did... did she just ask me out on another date?" He asked himself aloud, sliding back into his seat. He would have the rest of the ride and walk home to reflect on the evening and her last words. It was as he feared; she had expectations already. What he felt was a combinations of confusion, joy, and impending doom. He arrived at his apartment just in time; whether his emotions and nerves or all of the fancy things he'd put into his stomach were to blame, he could really only come to one conclusion.

"I'm in trouble." So much amazing trouble.


	15. Chapter 15: Escelation

Thank everyone for their patience! I will complete this story! :) Please review!

It had been a tough work week for Madarame, and though he was used to some overtime, he'd not been accustomed to quite so much of it. He'd been unable to finish a great deal of the paperwork, and even brought several large documents home to review and finalize over dinner, which was always of the unimpressive variety; being a bachelor and not having the energy to care what he ate and when he ate it made for very unhealthy decisions. Ramen was a main course on a regular basis, and rice, and though he didn't often provide himself with vegetables, he tried to grab a fruit drink or two during the day. More often than not, it was vending machine or fast food, and take-out on the way home.

The week dragged on, and before he knew it, it was late Friday afternoon, and he decided it was time to break away from the grindstone. Communications from Saki earlier in the day had really uplifted him, and provided him with the second wind that he needed to get reasonably caught up on his work.

**I'm finally winding down from work. How does it look on your end? Do you think you're up for some dinner later? **Saki was clearly in good spirits, energetic, and likely ready for a Friday night out. The fact that she'd thought to spend time with him instead of going out to shop or dance with her girlfriends really made his day!

Unfortunately, Madarame wasn't sure he would be able to wander across the city and entertain her.** I'm really beat. We can do something with not a lot of walking involved!**

**There's a cafe a few blocks from you that my friends say has the best teriyaki ever... do you know of the place?**

**Absolutely! **He not only knew of the place, the very thought of one of their medley dishes absolutely made his mouth water. It was a little more pricey than his average choice (which was mostly based on speed of service and not quality). However, this restaurant was completely worth it.

**Great. I'll meet you there. How does 6:00 sound to you? Maybe we can catch a movie or something after.**

**Perfect. That gives me just enough time to get home and drop off some things**. _And change into something I haven't lived in for fourteen hours, and take a shower. _The last thing Madarame wanted to do was reek of the glory of two weeks worth of greuling work smashed into one.

The train ride home was less than 20 minutes, but felt like an eternity. Madarame fidgeted with his laptop case, and ran his hand through his hair, which was getting too long, but perhaps it wasn't yet time for a haircut. At home, he flung his work things onto the desk and stripped down, making a line for the shower, where he scrubbed himself down thoroughly, twice.

A full-length mirror came stock with the apartment, and hung from the door to the bathroom, forcing him to be completely aware of himself as he exited the shower and dried off. For the first time in a very long time, he stopped to regard his reflection. He was a tall man, still very slender, though he'd miraculously filled out a bit since his college years. He wasn't in bad shape, but he wasn't toned, unless you counted his legs, as they pretty much had to be in shape the way he had to walk or run to almost every destination. He had no tan whatsoever, but his complexion wasn't terribly pale. He turned to the side and straitened his posture, and noted how great an improvement was made by neglecting to slouch. He was a tall man, and his equipment was not disproportionate; he knew this all too well because even beyond adolescence he had a difficult time hiding his arousal in public. This had been an issue on numerous occasions with Saki, and he'd managed to avoid exposure by making a quick exit, or simply remaining seated with a book or a bag in his lap until the coast was clear.

He leaned toward the mirror over the sink and observed himself sans glasses, when an idea struck him. He opened the medicine cabinet and rifled around for the contact lenses he'd acquired a month or so back at his last eye exam. His optometrist, a very sweet older lady who treated everyone like family, had suggested he give the lenses a go, and claimed that his face was "far too elegant to hide behind bulky frames". Madarame had tried the lenses once, and though he had little trouble donning or removing them, he simply had no reason to waste the time... until now.

"Let's test the frame theory, then, shall we?" He mumbled to himself with a grin. He extracted one lens, fumbling a moment to position it into his eye. He repeated the process with another lens, more steady and confident. He dried his hair thoroughly with the towel, brushed his teeth, deodorized, and applied lightly some cologne - he'd purchased this particular brand of cologne after seeing a commercial where a man was running across Tokyo with some several dozen women in hot pursuit. Madarame would count himself lucky if it just made him a little more bearable to one person.

He donned a t-shirt and a button-down, and some knaki slacks. He gave himself a once-over and nodded in approval. He couldn't help but feel energized and excited for this small dinner with Saki. It was certainly something to look forward to in his otherwise dull daily routine.

He kicked the dirty clothes under the bed and retrieved his cellphone, keys, wallet, and coat. Out the door he went, when an uncharacteristic bounce to his step.

Saki was home for several hours, and all she could think of was meeting up for dinner with Madarame. She'd showered, dried her hair and even curled the bottom half, and twisted it up into a clamp, leaving some of the strands to fall free. She spent a considerable amount of time ensuring that her makeup looked perfect, but not overdone. Saki was a connoisseur of undergarments - she loved coordinating sets of bras and panties with lace and flowers, and she loved a bra with extra lift. She'd tried on several outfits before settling on a flirty black pencil skirt and a pale pink top with an absolutely plunging neckline framed by folds of lace. The stockings were simple, sheer with little polka dots, black. She took into consideration whether her outfit was daring enough to tease Madarame, to make him uncomfortable and blush. Admittedly, she resembled a sexy secretary. It did occur to her that it might be a little bit cruel on her part, but then again, the thought of any other female in the room getting the attention simply didn't sit well with her. Then again, Madarame was easy to tempt, wasn't he?

She lightly spritzed herself with perfume and gave herself the once-over. She donned a thin and barely visible, but lengthy silver chain around her neck, that dangled a small rhinestone charm that rested just between her breasts. She idly wondered how he'd be able to keep his attention away from that. Glancing at her reflection, she couldn't admit to herself that what she was doing was fair, but she also wondered if Madarame had any sort of boiling point. Would he always be able to just be a gentleman to her, or would all the teasing break him down?

She grabbed her coat, scarf, and purse, and headed out the door, and down several blocks toward the train. It was cool, and growing colder, and it was quite a trek to the train. Saki enjoyed the cool air against her face, and felt very happy to be going out. She blushed thinking that all of these feelings were simply from dolling herself up and going to meet with someone like Madarame.

Boarding the train, she found a nice place to sit near the door, and commenced daydreaming on the small adventure to Madarame's neighborhood, which involved changing from one train to another at a main station, but she didn't mind.

The cafe had a very casual atmosphere, yet there was a level of privacy provided to each of the booths by the high seat backs, dim lights and decorative vine plants that made it all seem quite romantic. It was an old building, and the walls were painted black and red with gold trim. There were framed posters from old theater shows and musicals - extraordinary pictures of dancers and actors in romantic poses, or with thoughtful expressions. Best of all were the delicious smells of all the different kinds of foods being prepared in the kitchen.

Madarame sat across from Saki, already rendered speechless by her appearance. He couldn't tell that she'd put quite a bit of effort into her appearance, but simply assumed that it didn't take much for Saki to appear like a flawless goddess. He watched as she settled her purse next to her on the cushioned bench, and wriggled out of her coat, and made herself comfortable, sighing happily. It did occur to him that perhaps her movements were purposeful, that the flash of the edge of her floral bra was intended, but he didn't complain. Why on earth would he ever complain, what for?

Saki considered it a success, having gotten just the reaction she'd hoped for. Madarame sat across from her eyes fixed upon her, silent. She smiled sweetly, "What's on your mind?"

There weren't words for what was on his mind.. or rather, there were, but it wasn't the first time thoughts came to mind that Madarame couldn't comfortably voice. Straightforward, his inner voice screamed for him to tell her how she made him want to lock the two of them away from the rest of the world, where there could be no distractions. Madarame wasn't used to the full-on attack on his senses that Saki provided tonight. _If she could read my thoughts, she'd slap me, or worse._ Instead of honesty, he'd carefully compliment her, "You look amazing..." He was just that, a bit of a coward. He shifted in his seat, tearing his eyes away from her as they ordered their drinks, dinner, and passed their menus to the waiter.

She leaned in, against the table, and stared at him intently. It made him slightly uncomfortable, and he felt a blush creeping up over his neck and cheeks. "... what's so interesting?" He asked, trying not to sound nervous.

"You're not wearing glasses... but contacts? I've never seen them on you before." She grinned a Cheshire grin.

He smirked, and leaned forward as well, "See? I thought I'd try them out. Big glasses just never seem to be in style."

Saki sat up strait, thrown by how he could seem so shy one moment but bolder the next. She nodded, "Looks good on you. How do you feel about them, though?"

He laughed lightly, "To be honest, they're not terribly comfortable, but it's probably something you get used to with time."

Saki admitted to herself that he looked more handsome, but at the same time, she missed his glasses, as they seemed to be one of his defining characteristics, and he seemed rather off without them.

Small talk about work, and the office, shopping, and random-ism ensued, until dinner was on the table. Madarame was starving, having not eaten a real meal all day. Saki ate slowly, taking slow, purposeful sips of her drink.

They ordered a bottle of warm saki, and shared it while Madarame shared the details of his comany's latest project, and how much paperwork was truly involved in business that involved city money. It was detailed work, involving lots of documentation and computer imput, collaboration and communication between other companies and city officials, and Saki was not left wondering why Madarame was often exhausted during the week.

He seemed to grow sleepy during the meal, and that saddened Saki, who suddenly became inspired by a recent dream. She slid off her slip-on shoe, and settled her foot upon Madarame's, who hesitated mid-sentence, before carrying on about the details of a contract with her. He took another bite of his food, and chewed slowly as she slipped a toe up beneath the hem of his pants and stroked his ankle gently through her stocking. She didn't expect that he would respond boldly, as he had in the dream, but he certainly didn't seem sleepy anymore. Particularly after she reached up with one hand and began to roll that rhinestone charm along her cleavage.

Meanwhile, Madarame struggled with a plethora of wild thoughts and emotions, while struggling to keep reigns on his own desire to leap over the table, not knowing what he would possibly accomplish by doing so. Just what was she thinking? She was clearly teasing him, but to what end? Was it just for fun? Was it a test to see how much he could take, or would she actually be willing to deal with the consequences if he lost control? Of course, he couldn't even imagine himself losing control. His mind was becoming a fog.

The waiter removed their plates from the table at some point, and left the check. Madarame retrieved his wallet with a robotic motion and provided his credit card.

Saki slipped her other foot around Madarame's calf and pulled his leg nearer hers, wrapping her lower legs around his leg and giving him a squeeze. Saki smiled a small smile noting his silence, and his expression that was a mix of shock, confusion, and something simply delicious. His face slowly grew serious, and when his lifted his gaze to hers, Saki felt a tightness in her stomach, and a growing warmth. Likewise, Madarame felt himself harden due to the attention under the table.

When the waiter returned, Madarame signed the receipt, tipped generously, and replaced his card and wallet in his coat pocket. He laced his fingers together and rested his elbows on the table. "So, what would you like to do now?" Madarame sounded cool, as if nothing were going on. It was a defense mechanism, since he didn't quite know how to deal with the physical contact. Saki slumped a bit, but smiled nonetheless.

"We could go to the mall.." Saki offered.

"No, I don't feel like walking much." Madarame countered.

"How about a movie?" She tried again.

"We'd have to take the train for that... seems far off." He leaned back and stretched, thinking for a moment. Let's just see what she's about. "I have several movies at my apartment that I haven't had time to watch since I bought them. We could go watch them there." He waited.

Saki was surprised. This was a bold move by Madarame, to see if Saki would come to his apartment after she'd been so blatantly teasing him throughout the evening. Saki hesitated, but it was Madarame! What harm could befall her for going to his apartment at night? After all, she'd been there before, and Madarame was not the kind of man to fear.

"Sounds great. Sounds relaxing."

The walk to Madarame's apartment wasn't a long one, but they walked in relative silence. The night was cold, and snowflakes began to fall. By the time they reached the door, both Saki and Madarame were glad that they'd chosen to go to his home instead of traveling around the city.


	16. Chapter 16: Different

**Different**

As they walked to Madarame's apartment, Saki must have second-guessed herself a dozen time, but resigned herself to 'going with the flow,' as it were. She expected the place to be a disaster, with comics, books and games strewn about, and imagined it so as they ascended the four flights of stairs to his corner apartment. Stepping into the apartment, she removed her coat and he took it from her to hang on a nearby coat rack. Slipping out of her shoes, she stepped up into the living room and blinked as he flipped on the lights.

Surprisingly, Madarame's living room was actually fairly normal tonight. It was tidy- that was the first thing she noticed. There was a lack of comics, books and games. There were no empty soda cans or microwave ramen bowls. Sure, there were obvious hints of his hobbies; his television was flat-screen hovering over an entertainment bench filled with various game systems and controllers. There were two book cabinets with their doors closed, and she knew they held his prized collectibles and figurines. He had a sectional sofa, a recliner, all tidy. His L-shaped apartment was compact, but cozy. She hadn't noticed so much during her first visit- she knew it was messier the first time, but had been too drunk to comment or care.

"It looks nice in here.." She thought aloud.

Madarame gave an internal sigh of relief. Saki looked around and found nothing to complain about, and in fact complimented him? It must have been a dream. He'd taken the time throughout the week to clean the place up, organize his comics- he even dusted and vacuumed. By the time it was done, he barely recognized the place at all. As the days passed, he found himself less tolerant of clutter, clearing his empty cans and washing his dishes before sleeping each evening. After Saki's first visit, he'd been so embarrassed by the clutter that he couldn't enjoy his own hobbies anymore unless they were organized and his living space was cleaned. He hadn't purchased new releases in two weeks.. Sure, he knew at the time that Saki would probably never see his home again, but the damage had been done.

Saki selected a place to sit on the sofa, right in the corner, awe-stricken at the tidiness. She had to wonder if it was for her. Madarame's apartment was larger than she remembered it, and had sort of an open floor plan. The kitchen was separated from the living room by a bar counter. The apartment was l-shaped, one of the larger coveted corner apartments. His bedroom was around the corner, obscured by a decorative room divider.

"Would you like something to drink? I have hot cocoa.." Madrame offered, moving into the kitchen. She watched him from the corner of her eye. She was still chilled from their walk, so hot cocoa sounded amazing.

"That sounds great." She noticed some movies on the coffee table, still sealed in their plastic. She leaned forward, plucking them up and looking them over. They were, of course, animated features. Full-length movies. She'd heard of some of them before, but never actually watched them. She wouldn't have purchased this kind of movie on her own, and the opportunity never came up in the past.

Madarame warmed the cocoa on the stove, leaning over the bar to see what Saki was up to. "Oh!" He exclaimed.

Saki could almost feel the oncoming speech about the movies as he noticed her looking at them. She braced herself.

"See something interesting?" He was holding back. He knew it, and he was sure that she knew it, too. Back in his college years, he would already have launched into a speech about each of the movies, picking apart the best and worst parts, pointing out the fame of the creators, directors, characters, and offering his two cents about each. Instead, he baited her.

"Ah, well." She looked them over. _Howl's Moving Castle_. _Spirited Away_. _Princess Mononoke_. She scanned the back cover of each, then held up the first. "This one looks interesting."

Madarame poured the cocoa into two cups, then glanced over the bar again. "Yeah, that one's really good."

Saki quirked a brow, running her finger across the sealed plastic edge of the movie container, "How do you know? You haven't even opened the movie."

Madarame laughed, bringing the mugs into the living room, settling them upon the coffee table in front of her. He took the movie from her, cracked open the container to retrieve the dvd. Even back when they were both in college, she occasionally showed interest in a series that he liked. It always gave him hope, in the past. But now, he couldn't help but notice the difference- they were enjoying each others company. They were having a good time and it wasn't as forced as he expected it to be.

"I saw it in the theater, early release." He admitted, moving over to the dvd player, powering up the TV.

"Oh, of course." Saki settled back on the sofa, crossing her arms. He was so predictable.

He smirked, setting the dvd to play. He moved to dim the lights, "I won tickets to a pre screening, and I never win anything. I had to go. It ended up being a pretty fun night. Anyhow, this is a Miyazaki film. It's an international hit, accepted by the mainstream. I think you'll like it."

He settled next to Saki with the remote control. As his arm brushed hers awkwardly, he noticed her chill, and grabbed a throw blanked from the arm of the sofa, draping it over her. Saki smiled, blushing softly. Madarame handed her a mug of cocoa and they settled in, side-by-side, to enjoy the film. Before too long, Saki was absolutely engrossed in the movie, and though Madarame hated to move away from her, his eye were killing him, and he retreated to the bathroom to rid himself of the contact lenses. He donned his large glasses and looked at himself in the mirror, sighing softly. He looked like the same old Madarame. He was the nerd, the guy that had creeper Saki out for so many years during college. He hoped that she wouldn't see him that way, but as he emerged from the bathroom, he noticed she'd paused the movie and was awaiting his return.

"Oh, your glasses." She noticed immediately, "It's the same Madarame we all know and love." She grinned before sipping at cooled cocoa, finishing the drink off then placing it on the coffee table. She had to admit that she felt even more comfortable around Madarame when he wore his glasses. It was a strange thing. Perhaps it was because she was used to that, and that it was him, naturally.

Madarame felt a pang in his chest at the mention of love. He was still very much in love with Saki, always had been and probably always would be, despite whatever direction their friendship went in. His stomach sank at the realization that she'd noticed his glasses immediately. Yes, he was the same old Madarame, in so many ways.

Moving to the sofa, he sat down silently, a bit further away from Saki than the first time. She noticed this, and didn't hesitate to close the space between them, scooching right up by his side, "What's wrong?"

He could feel his face redden. Looking for a distraction, he stole the remote and made the movie play again. "Nothing. My eyes were hurting from the contacts, that's all."

Saki nodded and watched him in the dim light for a moment longer. Could it be that his confidence left him when he put his glasses back on? That would be silly, but she knew that self esteem was a fragile thing. Either way, the evening was too much fun to let it go all to shit so easily. Saki leaned against him with a smile, rested her head on his shoulder, exposing her neck to him. He couldn't help but notice that she smelled wonderful, like rice flower, like shea butter, and even a hint of cherry. He could speculate for long hours on what exactly made her smell so... delicious.

Madarame sat there, frozen, with the object of his affection so close to him. He could feel her warmth from beneath the throw blanket. She seemed so comfortable next to him, not bothered by the fact that he was what he was. He was so many things, and she knew it. An otaku, greedy and self-centered at times. He was obsessed with his hobbies so much that sometimes in the past he'd risked his own health. He was a guy. She knew he was a pervert. It was a wonder she ever put up with him at all. Any lesser woman would surely have avoided Genshiken altogether just to be rid of him.

Still, here she was, alone with him, snuggled up to him in his darkened apartment. Part of him wanted not to take it too seriously, but another part of him asked how he could possibly read this situation wrongly. All parts of him agreed that this movie was a lifetime longer than it actually was.

Saki wasn't thinking about it so much. The film was amazing, as promised, though a bit strange in places. Saki had nothing to lose by enjoying Madarame's company, and once she stopped pushing him away, found herself intrigued by how well he treated her, and how normal he could be. Madarame was a sweet guy. Saki knew this, she'd just never stopped to consider even giving him a chance in the past. This felt... different than what she'd experienced before. Madarame seemed to want to make her the center of his world. It was more than obvious. And she felt so safe with him, like nothing could harm her, and she knew that he never would, not voluntarily.

So toward the end of the movie, Saki slid her arm around Madarame's, and found his warm hand. She slid her fingers into his and held his hand.

Madarame's pulse quickened. His fingers closed around hers and she didn't pull away. As the credits began to roll, he shifted to face her, and she turned her head to peer up at him sleepily. Her eyes were big, half-lidded pools that shimmered in the dim light. Loose strands of her hair fell freely, messily about her face and shoulders, and the skin around her collarbone was pale and glowing. Her low cut shirt loosely framed her cleavage, and he could see the edge of a pink bra peeking along the edge. The more he looked at her, the harder it got to breathe.

Saki shifted, retracting her hand from his, only to stretch her arms and arch her back. Her pencil skirt had ridden up as she made herself more and more comfortable on the sofa, and her stocking encased thighs were no less than enticing and magnificent.

It was all a massive overload- Madarame couldn't handle someone so gorgeous on his couch. He had no idea what to do or what to say. At times like this, he usually launched into a speech. Otherwise he would run away. There was no way he could do either at this point, so he faced the situation head on, and prayed to any god that would listen to please for once to not let him say something stupid to ruin this moment.

"I love you."


End file.
